Balancing lady by orangebromptonIt's often easy to give into the idea that the needs of a household, relationship, or job trump all else. Only recently have I discovered how much easier life is to balance if you apply two easy principles.
Be prepared
Think out the problem, what is it that you really need and how can it be obtained? Allow me to give you a personal example, I've been putting off joining a gym recently. I've given myself the excuse that I'd do it, "as soon as I moved apartments and our offices moved."
I've been in my new apartment since mid-July and in our new office since the second week of August, currently there were are no excuses! Though I never cease to amaze myself with my keen powers of persuasion in the area of procrastination, I only put it off two weeks because the end of the month is when you get the best deals on gym memberships, right? This was the proverbial mounting of excuses that typically get me in trouble. Slowly they cloud my mind with, I'm too tired, I'm too hungry... yada, yada, yada.This is where being prepared is key, if you know what the excuses are, you're perfectly prepared to overturn the objections of your own persuasive logic.
Overturning Objections
I'm a master at convincing myself into believing things that foster laziness and procrasitnation. That's why it's good to flex my inner sales woman by practicing overturning my own objections. Your own inner dialog may sound different but the principle of motiviting yourself remains the same.
e.g. Too tired? = Exercise gives you more energy. Too hungry? = Eat a piece of fruit and get your ass to a yoga class. Don't feel like it? = You enjoy the feeling of the soft couch on your flabby bum, don't you?
The last few days, I've on a mission to get addicted to how working out makes me feel. It's sort of like when I finally figured out that wheat and gluten where making me exhausted. There was an initial boost of energy I noticed, and when I slipped up everything came apart at the seams. That's why I'm focusing my mind on removing obstacles and channeling my personal guilt for giving quality time to myself. While it feels weird to admit that I feel guilt in this area of my life, I know I'm not alone. Which leads me to...
Asking for help
Okay so this component is particularly hard, especially for those of us that like to feel pride in not thinking that they need help. In my household, I do most of the cooking and I'm often prone to giving in to other people's bio-rhythms. For example - if you're hungry, I'll eat. Hell, I'll even make you a killer sandwich! Such is my obsession with food, I approach it with a nearly religious attentiveness. Knowing this about myself, I need to do everything in my power to keep myself from choosing unhealthy habits. One of the ways I've learned to do this is to ask for prep help. There's nothing wrong with being the mastermind in terms of meal planning - it's actually a beautiful thing if you enjoy it. However, a little bit of equipment and/or the ability to ask nicely for help from a second set of hands is extremely important.
I'm lucky enough to live with my boyfriend who works primarily from home. He's a developer and is fortunate in that he makes his own schedule. This morning, I made a quick marinade for a pork loin and popped it in the fridge on the way out the door. I later sent a chat message requesting help with the rice and pork loin and let him know approximately when I would arrive home. Given my spoor stills and giving an appropriate estimate for my time of arrival, overall it was a success. I came home to someone excited to share about what happened during their day, I worked out, felt amazing, we shared a bottle of wine and a great meal. What more can you want? If you don't have a second set of hands I'd recommend a rice maker with a timer or using quick recipes for during the week dinners.
At the end of the day, getting your priorities strait is about determining what's really important, removing obsticals for yourself, and fully comitting to asking for help when you need it. Today I'm happier for asking for help and removing a feeling of deep obligation for something I typically enjoy. It's often our own inablity to ask for help, recieve it, or give up control that perpetuates our own inablitly to prioritize the things that are most important to us.
What allows you to maintain balance in your life? Have you ever felt guilt over putting your own needs first? Please share your experiences with me in your comments below.